In June, three protesters dressed in clown suits broke a lock at a supposedly secure North Dakota missile facility and attacked the top of the underground housing that holds a live Minuteman III missile by beating it with hammers and painting anti-nuclear slogans on it. They were arrested within minutes, but publicly, the government seemed unalarmed that the trio had broken in so easily. [Minot Daily News, 6-30-06]
Unclear on the Concept
Joseph Weir, 23, who confessed to New York City police in May to forcibly licking the feet of as many as 70 women, said he didn't mean to hurt anyone but just wanted "to make them laugh and smile and open to talk to me." "I get on my knees, grab their feet and bow," he said (according to a New York Post story). "I compliment women, I bow to them." [New York Post, 5-11-06]
The Meek Win a Few
(1) In June, British worker Mr. Sivanadian Perananthasivam was awarded three months' paid leave plus medical expenses after proving that a supervisor had used two colloquial terms for the man's posterior during an angry office exchange. (2) The Supreme Court of Canada affirmed in June that a woman divorced seven years ago is still so fragile from her husband's leaving her that she should continue to get spousal support (in spite of Canada's no-fault divorce law). (3) Two New Jersey schoolboys separately complained recently that in yearbook sports photos, a tiny portion of their genitals can be seen up the legs of their shorts. (A Colts Neck High School student's lawsuit was dismissed in June, and a Phillipsburg High School student is pondering a lawsuit, even though a school official ordered the offending page ripped out of all books.) [News Ltd. (News.com.au), 6-14-06] [Globe and Mail-Canadian Press, 6-20-06] [Express Times (Easton, Pa.), 6-13-06]
Fine Points of the Law
(1) The Michigan Supreme Court ruled in June that a marijuana user need not actually be intoxicated to violate the state's "operating (a vehicle) under the influence" law if the prosecutor can prove that the psychoactive ingredient THC was still in his system. (2) A federal judge in Albany, N.Y., dismissed a state prisoner's lawsuit that claimed that housing two inmates in a cell designed for one was cruel and unusual punishment. The judge rejected the petitioner's toilet-smell argument by using the Pythagorean Theorem to show that the odor-wafting-distance difference was minimal. [South Bend Tribune-AP, 6-23-06] [ABC News-AP, 6-5-06]
People Different From Us
(1) Enrique Mora of Montclair, Calif., said that within a few days of his gold detector's having sounded in his front yard, he had dug a hole six stories down (but had come up empty). He said he had only planned to dig three or four feet, but got "carried away," according to a June Associated Press report. (2) Martinsburg, W.Va., physician John C. Veltman, 52, was arrested in May after he (likely intoxicated) commandeered a backhoe and hit a building and a tree and crashed through two fences. Veltman allegedly told an arriving police officer, "I am a (expletive omitted by the Martinsburg Journal) medical doctor, and you are below me." [KNTV-TV (San Jose, Calif.)-AP, 6-14-06] [Martinsburg Journal, 5-16-06]
Least Competent People
A 25-year-old American from Boston, in Hanover, Germany, for World Cup matches, was forced to report sheepishly to police that he had no idea which hotel he had checked into or where it was. According to a Reuters report, the man, reportedly sober, remembered being driven past a park and a Mercedes dealership, but since there are several of those in Hanover, police had to drive him around town for an hour until he finally recognized the building. [Reuters, 6-23-06]
Update
In December, News of the Weird reported on a Welsh inventor's sound device called the Mosquito, which takes advantage of young people's greater audio range and emits a sound annoying to them but which most adults do not notice, which the inventor used to drive young hoodlums from their hangouts without disturbing adults. Recently, the inventor, Howard Stapleton, introduced a youth-friendly spinoff: a cell phone ringtone ("Teen Buzz") that is audible to most young people but not noticeable to most adults (who might prefer ringtone silence). [The Times (London), 6-12-06]
Chutzpah!
(1) The Nigerian government began recently to warn its citizens traveling to Europe that those countries are full of scam artists. (The travel advisory mentioned pickpocket schemes, but apparently European e-mail scams are less of a problem.) (2) General Motors executives, trying to explain the dwindling stock market value of the company, have repeatedly complained of oppressive pension benefits owed under United Auto Workers contracts; however, according to a June Wall Street Journal investigation, GM's fund for worker pensions is "overstuffed with cash," while its fund for executive pensions is $1.4 billion in the red and getting worse. [Reuters, 6-22-06] [Wall Street Journal, 6-23-06]
Thinning the Herd
(1) A 23-year-old woman and her 27-year-old companion were accidentally run over and killed, apparently while standing in a far left lane of Interstate 10, arguing (Ocean Springs, Miss., June). (2) A 46-year-old man, breaking through a bedroom window in the home of his estranged wife in violation of a restraining order, accidentally slashed an artery and bled to death (Milwaukee, June). (3) A 51-year-old man, trying to drive around a traffic jam on Interstate 10 as he was fleeing a gas station where he had just pumped $60 worth of gas without paying, fatally struck another car (with only minor injuries to the other driver) (Welsh, La., June). [Biloxi Sun Herald, 6-27-06] [WLS-TV (Chicago)-AP, 6-17-06] [Baton Rouge Advocate, 6-22-06]
Thanks This Week to Lisa Rutter, Tim O'Rourke, David Horchak, Mike Berenshteyn, Jamie Anderson, Steven Passen, David Weiss, Emory Kimbrough, Michael Duhe, and Sarah Langmack, and to the News of the Weird Editorial Advisors
(Visit Chuck Shepherd daily at http://NewsoftheWeird.blogspot.com or www.NewsoftheWeird.com. Send your Weird News to WeirdNewsTips@yahoo.com or P.O. Box 18737, Tampa, FL 33679.)
COPYRIGHT 2006 CHUCK SHEPHERD
