Satellite-Mapping Dog-Poop Activist Acquitted
A jury in Boulder, Colo., quickly acquitted Patrick Murphy, 50, of harassing a dog-poop scofflaw (the owner, not the dog) that he videotaped in the midst of Dog Owners’ Denial at a school park. He had used global positioning satellite equipment to show that, at one time four months ago, there were 663 piles in the park. (Murphy has been an activist on the issue for more than 5 years and has engaged in all the traditional methods, also, such as writing gobs of letters to the editor.) [Denver Post, 7-19-01]
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Territory-Marking Man Arrested in Connecticut
Stephen T. Harris, 39, was arrested on Monday and charged with public indecency for apparently deliberately (according to the surveillance camera at Lowes Home Improvement in Plainville, Conn.) pulling out his clinton and slightly wetting the back of the pants leg of a man. Uh, three different times. Harris has not yet released a statement either denying the charges or giving a motive. [Hartford Courant-AP, 7-19-01]
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Parliamentary Etiquette in St. Louis
Alderman Irene Smith was doing the Lord’s work Tuesday, she thought, in leading a filibuster against a redistricting plan that would sacrifice black aldermen even though blacks had become a majority in the city for the first time in the 2000 census, but nevertheless, she had to answer nature’s call. The Board voted 13-11 that if Smith left the microphone and headed for the head, she’d lose the floor, and the Board would vote in the new plan. So supporters thrust a sheet and quilt around her at the podium, and she tinkled into a trash can, and on the filbuster went. The Board meets again next week. [St. Louis Post-Dispatch, 7-18-01]
Below the Fold
A Sacramento judge enjoined California prison procurement authorities from awarding a sweetheart contract for peanut butter and jelly to a supplier who charges $175G more than a rival; the prison office claimed it had the right to do this under “emergency” authority, that inmates tend to riot when cut off of certain foods for which they have built an emotional bond. [San Francisco Chronicle, 7-18-01] And, in Rives, Tenn., trying to avoid jail on imminent bad-check charges, Shannon Paige Morphis, 29, allegedly robbed a First State Bank branch on Monday and made her overdue payments before Obion County sheriff’s deputies tracked her down. [Union City Messenger, 7-18-01, link follows]
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Thanks to
Yr Ed hasn't yet figured out how to put a thank-you list artistically on this page, but in the first two days of operation of Weird Central, these kind souls supplied the tips: Joe Littrell, Andrea Sisson, Jerry Fleury, Bill Williams, Wes Simpson, Jerry McCollom, John Gecik, Don Olney, Tim Trewhella, Vince Piperni, Erik Hasenbein, Paul Heer, and Paul Aubuchon, as well as valued members of the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.
Keeping New Jerseyites Occupied
There was a UFO-type sighting over the weekend, an elaborate set of V-formation lights in the sky reported by about 15 people in different places around Carteret (pop. 19,000, located just off the Turnpike between Elizabeth and Perth Amboy), including a police lieutenant. As usual, several people reported the sight as “peaceful,” “serene,” etc., or that it might have been a “miracle” rather than “aliens.” [ABC News, 7-17-01]
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Cigarettes' Fiscal Benefits Surface Again
In a recent filing in Czechoslavakia (in response to proposed gov’t restrictions, of course), Philip Morris submitted well-worn stats to show that permitting smoking actually reduces the costs of health and pension programs, in that smokers die sooner than those who don’t. Predictably, the anti-smoking lobby pretended to be grossed out. Yr Ed says there are plenty of reasons to think tobacco companies are sleaze, but this isn’t one because the numero-uno rationale for gov’ts’ anti-smoking campaigns over the last 30 yrs was govt’s’ “duty” to reduce smoking’s toll on innocent taxpayers. The Philip Morris and similar studies simply respond within the parameters of gov’t claims. [Tampa Tribune-AP, 7-18-01]
Below the Fold
Brian Miller, Sr., 40, was facing charges Monday in Muskegon, Mich., for accidentally blowing up his house when it was shown, according to police, that he couldn’t quite handle marijuana-smoking simultaneously with huffing propane. And the Ministry of Health building in Murcia, Spain, is making people sick to their stomachs; the total is up to 575 reported cases of Legonnaires’ disease in that and 5 other buildings. And speaking of health ministers, Turkey’s issued a directive on Monday that female student nurses aged 13-17 must prove by a medical test that they are still virgins. [WOOD-TV (Grand Rapids, Mich.), 7-17-01] [Arizona Republic, 7-12-01] [Agence-France Presse, 7-17-01]
©
2001, Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
